Jynxed

2009-12-22T12:34:00.000-08:00

So now you know my big secret.
I'm Sorry for not telling you
It's really not something i am proud of at all
Finally my past has caught up with me
i do not know what to do anymore
can you accept me for who i am?
can you see past my past
and see true meaning in what is gonna come?
i prayer that you can.
for my past has taught me a lesson.
a lesson at a very big expense
and it's a lesson i nvr forget
a lesson so simple yet deadly if never learnt
That nothing should revolve ard "IT"
IT has killed me
Ripped my soul into a million pieces
leaving me stranded by myself to slowly pull myself together again
limb by limb till i once again am whole
and doing so i have lost part of my limbs
but gained an additional limb emotionally
a strength not of the physical but of the emotional
a mental strength so strong
I now stand firm cause of that lesson
a lesson taught to me through a mistake
and i nvr would commit that mistake again
a deadly mistake that could never be repeated
a deadly mistake that eats your soul
a deadly mistake that i'll never repeat
for God saved me once
and i believe it will ever happen again he'll save me again
but that might be too late for i can't afford to ever fall again
for the next time my soul falls i do not know
how deep the pit will be.
it might just go into the abyss of time
and never resurface.
Life is to precious to fool anymore
i'm no longer like how i used to be
I wanna take my final chance with you.
will you let me have that chance?
If i could break every clock and stop time here
with you i will.
I'm sorry for putting you in such a spot.
I should've said this right from the start
but i still love you the same.
i hope you can accept me.
God I'm sorry for ever disregarding what you gave to me
I pray God that you'll give me the strenght and courage and discipline to face
any future problems. Thank you God.... ILU

2009-03-06T09:29:00.000-08:00

Shit! i wanna get away frm here!
why must there be church?
God loves us yes i know
but then everything becomes.
God God God GOd GOd god god godngdo ggdQ.

YES. GOD!
sigh.
y can't we just have some of ourself time
come home family time
go out friend time
go church God time
come home Family time
plus lecture abt God.
WTF!
wah lan eh.
gimme a break leh.
Screwed up shit
Maybe i should just stay in camp everyday
say i can't come home.
sigh.
sick of this shit.
Save the world.
Save me First la.
nono
dun.
let me havock pls.
and dun ask Questions
shhhhhhhhh.... Dun ASK Why!

burns.

2009-01-11T07:12:00.000-08:00

2009-01-01T06:55:00.000-08:00

I feel lost.
again and again
i feel the dust settling on my old wooden crate once again
my time capsule of forgotten past
my badges of past tales
now i lie in the pits of tale
where my crate once lay
as my past resurfaces
leaving me in the bitter dust of it's ascend
i'm now lying in the 6ft hole
waiting for the soils of life to overcome my life
i need to break free
i need to come above the situation
i need to walk alone for while
i'm lost amongst this life
save my soul
save my life
save me from the crazyness here
i hate things now.
screw this
screw the world
for there's things way better from this world
screw it.
argh...

2009-01-01T00:25:00.001-08:00

It's the new year and i am here again
Where am i?
what am i to do?
this year has just began
but my life is still undone.
what am i to do next?
or please help me
help me figure what i have to do
i'm lost in this world
i'm seeking your greatness
but still again i'm being dragged down
by the turmoils of life
beyond hope beyong repair
i seek the aid of our heavenly mechanic
yet my physical state looks well to do
but what lies within is a rusting tin can
refurbish me. for if you do not
my body will soon once again crumple to the ground
refurbish me give me new interiors and set the bolts on tight
so tight not even the strongest person can undo it
pimp me out so that all may see that i'm your masterpiece
pimp me out so that i may live that live u gave
pimp me out cause i love you and you love me.
pimp me out so that your works may always be on me
and i may bear your name wherever i go.
Pimp me out.
PLEASE!!!!

I need you here set a new sight in me
a new place to relive ur words.
bring me to a new horizon where i may
once again see and do your will.
let me arise to ur ways
and set a new flame within my heart
that it may burn like a million candles
and set aflame all those i meet.
Amen

2008-09-19T10:58:00.000-07:00

IT's been sooo soo long since i blogged.
it's amazing how much u do not know abt urself.
and how a single conversation can set ablaze
smouldering ashes that u thought was going to die any moment soon.
well there are things i miss and things i wish i nvr did
things which i love and things i wish i had tried.
nothing can change this. but all i can do i hold on.
get a grip and strive.
thought stripped bone dry of things.
with a weary old heart strive on.
life is worth much more than this.
sigh. still trying to kid myself.
wat a joke..........

The Love TEST....

2008-05-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

Here is the analysis:

1. When it comes to love, you take your time and do not fall in love easily.
2. You give 100% to your relationship and expect to receive 0% in return.
3. If there is a problem in your relationship, you are able to confront it in an optimistic way and full of hope. You want to work it out right away, all by yourself.
4. You need lots of reassurance in your relationship. You'd like to see your loved one every day, if possible.
5. You accept your loved one the way they are. You don't expect him or her to change for you.
6. When you love someone, you tend to stay in love for a long time.

2008-05-12T09:11:00.001-07:00

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2008-05-06T08:35:00.000-07:00

Once again. Why do i always find myself lost!
ERGH!
i feel so like i dunno what to say la
i hate myself for letting me ever feel like this
WHY!!!!
i cannot believe i even let things happe
i cannot believe i'm such a bastard!
i sorry everyone
i think i'm a dissapointment!
Kill me.
just kill me.

The cold wind blow in times of favour
but frozen in time i stand
broken lost behind the wheel of life
without a light shining through the night.
where do i go.
do i take faith and carry on
or do i stop take heed and hitch a ride
where do i stand now?
i've been driving for hours
and am lost in the pitch of night.
in the valley of death i stand.
why did i ever have to get lost....

my wooden wheels

2008-03-25T10:42:00.000-07:00

rolling in wooden wheels
hidden beyond the grasp of human eyes
what have i done...
what have i do wrong...
Time watches as the plot unfolds.
for only time can hold the plot unseen
Save me from this despair i feel
i'm losing a friend held dear.
Beyond my grasp it's slipping by.
the wooden wheels has killed my life
what trickery have i stumbled upon
what dark wrath thrown upon me.
kill me or soon be killed
the wooden wheels by which i roll
my plot unclear,
my life unseen
i came around to times unclear
i see the light
creeping through the wood
behind closed doors i hide and seek
prying upon the enemies realms
for time of silence
is my victory won.
my wooden horse by which i sleep
the wooden horse which brings me near.
where have my wooden horse gone
for now my life is to be told
not by me but my fellow mate
my name whispers in the everlasting winds
of how i whimper at piercing swords
now my time has come
where i lay down my life to be
just as i am, right here right now
lying on the ground before 2 planks
I've come to see it's not my life
but it's all for the blood on this planks
by which i've found my reason to live
the reason beyond the worlds desires
the reason to lay my life into thy hands
the reason for the blood on the planks
for this planks form the 't'
The 't' by which i lead my life
that love shouldn't only flow amongst those on earth
but also flows from the heavenly realms
the veritical love and horizontal love
for love that goes horizontal always goes round and is only a 1 way trip
but love that goes up always comes down and is a 2 way trip
getting u twice the mileage in just one journey. =)
so love vertically get ur extra mileage and then
make ur 1 way trip around the world
=)LOVE IS ALL AROUND. =D

2008-03-18T09:34:00.000-07:00

here i am again.
not to update u but to bitch
sometime i just can't take life at home
shit man
today i jsut fucking stepped in
the bloody door and i get bullshit
form that very moment
like WHAT THE HELL!!!
I've got enough shit by myself
stop putting more shit onto me
so what if u married a man who's a bum.
so what!
don't go around and say u're the top
like com'on la ok. get a grip already
u're fucking controlling us to our death!
it's like a blood prison here.
a safe house for us to see comfort in has
become a warzone of despair.
i give u
i raise my white flag
i put down my hope
for i no longer see anything else
u ask me to support myself
so i will do.
save me from the grips of this world
save me from the grip of this house
i can no longer breath
what more live in it
O god when will my time be up
i know my deal is not up yet
i know i still have people around me whom
i still have to be here for
but how long more do i have to put up with this?
FREE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANNA RUN AND NEVER STOP!!!
not for anyone..
i will stop for no one.
why did u ever give me such a big heart,
why?!
i feel the weight of the world
i feel the weight only a spec to what u carried
but how did u ever do it.
how could u have every went through such thing.

Forgive for speaking of such blasphemous thing.
but it's what i feel now. and i am speaking my heart.
so forgive me.
i can no longer hold on.
i wanna leave everything
run away for awhile
and when i am ok
see if i need to return

when i hear u my world crumbles

2008-01-22T22:06:00.000-08:00

... getting bored of my blog.
lol.. i'll bring it to life again soon.
life's been soo boring lately.
nth much to do.
been meeting up with the guys
but yeah. oh wells.
just been stoning watching shows
and reading my book now.
what a loner can.
damn man.
save me. k?

everyone's so busy now a days
sigh. barely get to met up with them.
really miss them though.
it's been ages since i've seen them.
what will ns bring for me man.
oh man. i wanna run away from sg and nvr come back.
i hate the system.
it's a jail house.
when u're born they put a collar round ur neck
and when u're 18 they attach a chain to it.
damn. they're cunning. to hell with them.
well.. hopefully lifes take a turn around from here.
it's getting dull and boring now.
need some light in it. i'm getting blind.
falling over cause of the loss of sight.
angel of light fall down on me.

2007-12-29T05:11:00.000-08:00

I'm zonked out.
today has been a crazy day.
It was a day exciting at first.
in the early ours of the morning.
then she had to go.
then when i woke up.
it was all good.
till thing took a sudden
swing around and struck me
right at where i never expected.
it nearly became my worse day to live
but then it passed and the pain was
too excruciating to handle and in the end
i became numb.
now i fell back to sleep
the refuge of mine.
woke up at 7pm.
and now i'm missing her.
man it's soo dead now.
there's nothing on.
somehow everything seems still.
lifeless. it's 2 days to new years eve
and all i can do is nothing.
what can i do...
i;m stuck at home.
if there was a fire in my house now
i'd die..
but i dun want too die.
yup..
some people believe in learning
by experience
but truthfully do u think an experience will help
if you get killed by it?
Don't u think that sometimes
experiences are just consequences
of your mistakes?
yes there are good experiences
but what about the bad one?
if it kills u and before that
u were just saying
i'll just learn from it.
it'll be useless.
stand clear. look ahead.
see the sun before it rises
for only then can you see that light
only comes from within.
success is only as far as you see it.
don't wait till it's too late.
don't wait till the sun has risen.
don't wait till you have nothing left
take it while u can
take the chance and tell them how much you
love them
take the opportunity to give them everything
for you do not know when this opportunity will
end. If you're broke. Give them love. Love that never dies.
Sometimes it's hard to love.
sometimes you see a totally different picture.
and you may never seem to paint the picture they want
but what matters most is your love stays pure.
It's hard sometimes to paint the picture they want
no matter how good your materials may be.
the picture will never be right.
but you may never know.
sometimes people can fall in love with
paintings but never the painter.
tell me how many people can speak about an art work
like it means everything but when
you ask them about the painter they
know nuts.
sometimes life is like that.
but however different our paintings may be.
somehow we can always choose to love it or hate it.
for behind every painting is a story.
a tales never heard before.
this is where you look beyond the physical and
into the heart.
for the paints and stokes are just random words
meaningless unless you look deep into it's detail.
the picture beyond the canvas.
but into the painters soul.
Look Deep not just whats on the outside
but what's in the heart itself.

2007-12-23T08:44:00.000-08:00

Wooot....

So i'm updating again.

Baby's back.
YAY!

ok so i'm down with a bad Cough.
Why would anyone curse me with a cough.
feel so drowsy most of the days.
i think i lack rest
but yeah.
i've been sleeping loads.
so... what's up man!
am i mad or am mad.
ok mad it is.
other then that i needa find a damn job.
how to go WYD if no money
and i got no cash for christmas!!!
Fucked up CAN!
piang eh.
it has brough me to misery
how to enjoy fully w/o cash!
cannot party all.
cannot give gifts.
feel so damn bad.
i know ppl have gotten stuff for me.
but me.
sigh disgrace.
i gotta hide my face.
i can't see anyone till new year
cause i dun wanna feel bad abt not
having anything big or nice for them.
oh man. how i wish i had worked.
screw hols man. they have mad me miserable now.
DAMN!..

Gotta find a job.
Gotta get gifts for everyone.
everyone i owe u'll k?
SRY!
really am.

prob leaving school too
changing school.
to some audio course. so yeah.
praying realy hard the army doesn't call.
if they do. i'd kill them.
yeah.
as for now.
i'm jobless and poor.
save my soul.
my pockets are always open for love offerings.=D
Thanks PEOPLE!

2007-12-14T09:01:00.000-08:00

Yay. in m'sia now.
sick as can be.
down with fever, flu, cough, sore throat
and some infection thing on my back ++ a HEADACHE!
how bad can a sickness be.
soo shagged
tml will be my aunts wedding
suppose to sing psalms
but how!?! so SICK!
haha.
needa wake at like 7 tml.
how dead am i
sooo drained
been riding round the kampong.
slack as can be.
gd stuff
but stuck with only eating soupy stuff
grrrrrr
wat to do.
life is simple when it's down.
sucky.It's all i got.
let's see
soup soup and soup...

OMG!!!! I LOST MY WALLET YESTERDAY!
Left it in the cab i think
Love was sitting right beside me
poor baby had motion sickness.
so she slept.
But how could i ever lose my wallet?!!!
lucky no IC or wateva can.
tsk tsk. so irresponsible.
Love was saying the way i stress over my Lost Wallet
was really funny
So yeah.
Glad i could make you day baby.
Love you.
NightS!

2007-12-14T08:51:00.000-08:00

So i'm in m'sia now.
Real sucky.
ok yeah united with my family yadda yadda yadda
But parted from my beloved
Missing you Love.
Need ya here.
You know how i wish everyday
would be a day with you
baby i love you soo soo much
each day i spend away from you
is a day closer to seeing you
yet the day grows longer
keeping me from seeing my baby
as i wake in the morning i tell myself
it's gonna be over soon.
but as i wait. i can't help but
let my mind wonder when will it be over
my heart cries out to see you
i need you here

As you fly don't forget me
for from tommorrow morning
i'd be every wondering how is my baby
For 10days i have to wait
for 240hrs my heart cries out
but most of all. though time may put me on a trail
i'll wait for the day when my baby is back
and it'll dawn upon me that the wait was worth it.
Love you baby.

2007-12-11T07:22:00.000-08:00

hey everyone.
i know haven't blogged for ages eh.
well i'm back from YI and all
better and all.
really let go lotsa stuff during that camp.
though i was in service team it was all good
things has gotten so much better after that
like with everything in life ya know
everything seems soo much better
well for now everythings fine.
i like how things are between us now.
really nice and sweet
gonna miss u..
i'm so tired now.
really long day.
well i'm gonna go now k.
Love ya..

2007-11-29T01:36:00.007-08:00

Oh help me i feel it overwhelming me. The darkness eats away every joy i have. Please don't take this away. I'd never forgive you if you do.Why are you doing this to me. You have given me hope after years and now you wanna take it away again. I can't live on if it is so. You know how many obstacles my soul has been scared by. Not now not ever. What i have come to love so greatly you're trying to rip me apart from now. What can you say to this. Answer me and don't stay in that box of yours and keep me in suspense and suffer under my thoughts. You're putting me in doom. Why? I don't want to go there. I never wanna go there. We made our promises. I think it's void for i don't think you're keeping your side of it. It's 1 week away from camp. And you're still killing me. And pulling me into the pits. How could you. How am i to serve like this. How am i to say you are my dad? How. When i myself fall into doubt. Are you really who you say you are to be? Prove it.

2007-11-21T10:04:00.000-08:00

So yeah.
how do u all feel about life?
for me life is a mess.
truthfully only there's only one reason that really
pulls me out of this pit lately.
i think i need a break from some things.
really.
i think i've gotten so tired of some stuff
i need a break from it.
all i need now is to wait for the dumb retrieval project to come.
I'd spend more time with u i promise ok?
i don't wanna neglect you.
Never meant to.
does it seem that way though?
sorry k.
you priority no. 1
and i'm leaving it that way.
well other than that. i hope my projects will come out well.
and i'd stay in sch...
adios ppl.
LOVE YOU!
xoxo

2007-11-18T09:37:00.001-08:00

ARGH!!
I CONDEMNED MYSELF!
HOW NOW!
What if i can't stay in sch!
ARGH! i don't wanna go NS
it scares me.
Don't Leave if i do.
I'd fall real deep.
Don't k?
i'm afraid now. so afraid.
i can't sleep.
my life flashing before me.
and i really can't put myself to rest.
what have i done to myself?!
If i go ns.
what will happen?
i wanna go abroad.
try my luck in a distant place
singapore stress sucks.
singapore sucks!
truthfully.
this whole system sucks!
they put u under the blanket
and start whacking you
till u die.
u wanna know why people are doing more
crazier things? it's because of stress
people result to methods of relieving stress
so Gov. unfderstand this.
We are humans. but not robots.
We love life but not around papers.
give u that life. a life of freedom.
what happened to the statement of freedom we once held
u have brainwashed singaporean to be narrowminded
and power hungry.
you think u're good
but truthfully
u're not.
u're no more than a photocopying machine.
remember.. all machines break down in the end.

2007-11-14T08:27:00.000-08:00

so i'm here.
let me say.
things have been a crack lately.
no matter what
I'm still sticking by.
I'm not going anywhere.
Not running away again.
For I've ran and seen the consequences
of those actions.
It's scary.
I never want to go there again.
I'm here to stay.
Stay for good.
I know I've been screwed up lately.
school's been a nut job.
next week's my last week.
Will the school keep me?
so afraid.
What if i have to go army?
what will become of us?
I wanna pull through
everything we encounter
make everything right
before they turn stale
So let's walk forth
and fight things together
not alone. alright?

The desert is now grassland
and rain; sunshine
life is spawning and
wonders will soon arise

Past is not equals to the Future

2007-11-05T07:07:00.000-08:00

Life. Why does people like to look into the past so much?
Don't you know people can change?
This world is a world that love to look into the past
to dig it up and dwell upon it.
It's happening everyday
At job interviews for example
what is their first impression when they see a black record
they reject you instantaneously
Why? Is it that they can't give you an opportunity
or let you start a new?

Everyone should be able to start anew with every new face
they meet. Yes the past me come up in conversations.
but don't let that affect ur relationship with the person
for you don't know what good this person has in them
Every has a good and bad.
Why do we always dwell on the Bad though?
When someone nice does something nice for us we go all happy
but when they slip fall and make a mistake
They become our archenemy as we condemn them to oblivion
Give it a break. Stop condemning. Take a look around before you speak.
Think of all the good this person has done for you.
and base your emotion on that.
For life has no time for darkness.
Why not turn to mirror before u speak.
Look at yourself before u condemn someone.
Are you any different?
Yes circumstances always change.
but darkness is darkness
and it dwells within each and everyone of us
no matter how much light we wish to shine upon ourselves
it is always there.
So don't condemn
for you never know when your darkness is gonna surface
and at that point of time.
Your past actions will count.
Don't Condemn.
Don't judge.
For it's a waste of time.
Wait, be patient and listen to your inner self
for darkness is ever deceiving and blinds the soul
Shine now for there's no time to waste.

2007-11-04T02:30:00.000-08:00

Hmmm.. so here i am
thinking once again.
what if u had a chance
to make things right.
that u can change to become that perfect
person. would u?
if life pushes you to go
to a whole level beyond your limit
will you?
If life made you to be just that
lil bit more patient.
will you?

It's a question?
questions for me.
but u can ask yourself too.
each of you reading this.
sometimes when we pray for a change
he won't change us but give us
opportunities to change.
to set urself right and push urself beyond ur
current limits.

Will u make that step to make things right?
though it seems impossible?
will you close your eyes and walk and just trust?
I prayer i can.
i really wanna be like that. patient, kind, understanding
loving... u know... that normal.
but what if u find urself growing but u also feel u're
clocking the miles between God and you?

But the thing is. Are you sure u're getting further?
sometimes in life things are the total opposite.
when u think he's furthest he's actually the nearest.
so take heed all of you.
for when you're most lonely he's already there
even before a word is said. sitting beside u reaching our for you.
that's him. u may not sense him. but take a look around next time
when u feel lonely
look at the birds or the trees, the beautiful creation of his
they're always smiling at you.
seeing how wonderful his creation is.

but now... i don't know where i am.
i wish i could be standing in this place where i see him smiling at me.
but i'm blinded. i'm lost.
i need patience, understanding and lotsa love.
i need to get straight again. set my path towards the sun. where light emits from so that when i reach it. i may also be part of this ever bright source from which all light comes from.

give me deliverance from all things.
give me peace.

I pray i may understand u more.
I pray i may learn to love u with all i am
I pray to have more patience with you.
For life i know strangles me at times.
pls pardon me. for neglecting your feelings.

2007-11-01T03:30:00.000-07:00

so wat is our real purpose?
how do u know if what u think is not
wat he wants?
com'on think right. ok?
why why can't u just give me my freedom?!
SHIT!When i'm 21 u better give it to me.
actually i demand it.
let me do what i want pls.
yes it may be wrong.
but so wat?
let me learn!
i learn by experience
u know i'm stubborn and arguing will make me be more rebellious
let me roam and be free
fall by trail and in that i'll grow stronger
if u never let me go
when will i ever be strong?
how will i be independent?
i may be a fool now
but if i nvr learn trough experience
wat will i do next time?
understand...
life is a journey.
not a textbook lesson.
every outcome is different
and every person lives alone though together.
we take a step so unique that it's custom made to only fit the
contours of our foot.
that no one else can ever thread it.
we need to walk this life.
though we stray. there's always a detour home.
Fall as i try Grow as i Fly

2007-10-25T00:11:00.000-07:00

Time passes
as i walk amidst the morning tides
i find myself stranded by the retreating tide
i tried to keep up
but failed
then i found myself lowly as can be when i suddenly felt my body slipping away
bit by bit it felt as though i was getting sucked into the sand
become part it.
the next thing i knew i found myself
in a pool of water left behind by the abandoning sea
a pool so small yet so big.
a pool which i will never wanna leave
for it is now my refuge from
the home that left me.
i love my new home.
it's really comfy.
though ppl are always watching me
some laughin at me.
some pitying me
some just wondering what the hell i'm doing here.
some just think i've been left behind
but as the tide comes in and out
i remain here
i feel safe here.
i don't want to go back to the ocean
where violence is all around
where every second someone is being slaughtered
by another.
it's scary
i've been running for years
trying not be slaughtered
and now i finally found my place
which came at a cost of a near death experience
i glad i had that experience
i glad i stepped out of that ocean
which i thought was my comfort zone
it's scary i tell u
but look what i found.
new friends from around the world
whom i bring joy to.
and a whole new aspect of life.
i wanna stay in this pool
till the day comes when the tide is strong
and the ocean calls me back..

2007-10-24T09:32:00.000-07:00

I dunno.
Is life giving me chance or is it taking me ard?
i do not want life to be like it did before
i want to see a path yet unseen to my eyes
a new horizon so beautiful i cannot grasp.
where and when will this come?
everyday's a new day.
yet a new day still carries the leftovers from yesterday.
When will time come to pass.
when will this leftovers be taken away?
when will i get rid of it?
i want everything to be new again.
everything deemed peaceful and right again
like a new born child
innocent to the world.
yet demands what it desires.
i don't know how to put this to words.
i want something that i can grasp.
something that is v simple yet complicated
what is it? what can it be?
am i even sane?
i want things to be simple.
i'm so far behind i can no longer keep up.

2007-10-23T09:18:00.000-07:00

here i am sitting in front of my com
thinking of the events of the day.
the wild roller coaster ride of my day
the up and downs.
it all started with tutorial
which i was 45mins late
but my sweet teacher being
super sweet was like
a slight improvement i must say.
and was all happy=)
hurray!!!
just because i came in 6 mins b4 class ended the previous lesson
and am now under the DEPRESSION LIST of KIDS
well all's well
went to Esplande to slack for break. walked all the way from bugis to there
slack i must say
sha and i was just talking shit the whole way
bitching and all.
it was good.
well.
school continued and the next step comes

i went home...damn drained... SIGH.....

2007-10-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

DAMN!!
the week's been shit pls.
i wish everything would be good
how everything changes by the second
i feel school's being evil
it's just too taxing pls!
i need a breather
save me from my exile!
freedom was given to me for a reason
the right for me to choose
now should i do anthing?
i dunno wat i'm doing in sch now.
life's been alright though
i went SJC TODAY!
wooot... stoning say pls..
damn sick... really sick....
got cough and flu....
save me pls pls...
i need a remedy...
for everything...
sch's here and i'm falling sick..
when's my time gonna come to chill?

stoningse

2007-10-19T01:34:00.000-07:00

schoool it scuks
oh my good ness
save me!
it'sso damn packed la!
pls! i've been skipping csch thought
my attendance is like 57% pls...
but nvm last mth was like 100%
sothat makes it (100 +57)/2 = 78.5%
yeah!!!
WOOOT!
save antaeus save the world!
this ain't basketball man.. basketball's a priveledged
i cannot rrest....
saded....
pain....

2007-09-26T07:33:00.000-07:00

Woooo.. Bored...
So sick of Sch.. ! wk BREAK COMING!
HURRAY!!! But so Are the PROJECTS!!!
Anyway WEnt shopping today
BUGIS STREET!!! but 2 TOPS
super cool and 2 WAtches!! YAY!
But Yeah. personalized one the watches thought
done up something then put it in
all in the name of curiosity.

So now i can design my own watches!
YAY!
Ok so i'm about done.
Bored again. but I WANNA GO SHOP MORE!!!
lol
i need money.. damn...

2007-09-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

okok.. fine.. i know i'm suppose to be doing my darn project
but u know what time calls and the boredom of working digs deep into
the very core of your mind and jams the whole system?

Yeah?

then please understand why i'm blogging.
I'm Dead TIRED and STRESSED!!!!
Oh my goodness.
The projects are just mountainous now
if it was compared to everest
everest would be an ant to it
like lasalle's mad.....
So yeah here i go yakking about my damn school again
when i can't even get myself to start freaking out abt the work
i need to start doing but...
my attempts has wondered to become useless endeavors of slackism
life's being a bum to me now.
damn.....

let's bum together

bummers are cool...
everyone should be a bum so i won't need to step out of it.
YAY!!!

A TOAST TO THE NEWLY FOUNDED 'BE A BUM CAMPAIGN'
for If I Can BUM, So Can YOU!

2007-09-18T08:38:00.000-07:00

ok so here i am slacking when all of a sudden
i was asked to update my blog or else thing would go all wrong.
so here i am writing about my daily doings
and thoughts about life and all.
well sch the same boring as ever.
like they give u dumb subjects that u find
actally find totally irrelevant
so yeah. they should review the subject taken
with everyone man then we can see what's truely needed
haha. right... i know. we don't even know what the world is like yet right?
but don't you think we should have a say?

well projects and Homework's still killing me. loads of it is pilling
up it's ignorant to my thoughts.
it just won't won't go down though i keep telling it too.
stubborn thing... damn...
well. it's amazing hearing the stories going ard in class
the neutral party is always nice.
i love it you know?
but i know no one is truly not talked about
everyone have their own stories hidden from their ears.
it's the world i tell u. gossipers... tsk tsk tsk...
lol. anyway i got so much to do.
let see
gotta do like 2 painting just on colours.
2 or more on monochrome.
3 3d projects to finish.
tons of research.
more than 10 contour drawings.
and it goes on.
let's say i'm dead.
waiting for project week to get everyhting done up
so i can rush everything during that week,
my classmate and i already planned to stay over and chiong work
WOOOT yeah man. well.
we better do it ok?
well been chilling rather often lately.. RIGHT?
haha
but yeah. hoping i'd be chilling tomorrow too.
well only time will tell...

cheers then! Wooohooo....!

2007-09-17T01:19:00.000-07:00

HELLO Everybody. I'm in a happier mood today.
lucky people. I feel more in tune now a days.
coolness. Well SJC now i love so much.
the companion and friends are just awesome.
but i say that at every church i go to.
but REALLY they're just....... AWESOME....

Anyway...I'm so behind time now. All my projects
are killing me please!
I NEED THE PROJECT WEEK BREAK NOW TO CATCH UP!
but yeah other that Sentosa on Saturday and Blading on Thurs
Life's been just running same.

Well it feels good now.
the frequency range is now larger
reception is better and clarity
is at 100%.. I think. no la.
not at 100% la
but it feels clearer.

Cheers People! <3

The Rubber Casing

2007-09-11T07:50:00.000-07:00

It all boils down to this now a days.
Who lays who.
Will he get laid tonight.
He's stressed he needs to get laid.
What's wrong with everyone?
Is there any trust or respect here?
Man crave it over and over again.
But where has the respect gone.
Woman where have your dignity gone?
You do not go around getting laid because
you're bloody stressed?
And do you know trust doesn't come where trust doesn't exist?
Respect and Trust is the core in all
If you say that Respect isn't need
and woman can't be trusted?
how will u every know if she can be?
when she finds out you've done her sister and she doesn't tell anyone?
Please get a change of mind.
If a woman can't be trusted it's because you're walking down the back alley
and not on the road itself.
Come on why walk the unseen path when u can see the bright light on the otherside?

think

2007-09-11T06:56:00.001-07:00

Again i'm here oh how glad i am.
I think i'm still lost,
but there may be a way.
So where am i truly now
Here or there?
Well all seems great
but life never seem straight
Is all this leading me to another
winding path for me to take?
Is it all just an illusion ready to unveil it's final act of deceive?
Or have i just stepped into a circus
where it's all kids' play?
I'm need to decide where i lie
which path i am going to take
It's yet another junction
the junctions that somehow i have always turned illegally
where i receive a fine far too big to comprehend
regret. hatred.frustration.negligence.
All in all ripping me to pieces even the greatest craftsman
will find it impossible to piece together again.
will this put another gash into my life
where the floods will choke all air i have left inside
will it bring me down deep into the seas
where i await someone to haul me to dry land again?
Think. Think of what it brings to you.
Think of what it will cause.
Think of the lives that may be destroyed.
All in all Think for what is meant to be.

For what is meant to be
still remains
though i may not know where the finish line lies
i still have to keep walking the scorching sands
though blisters may surface rest i shall take
but continue once again when all is well.
keep walking for the final lap.
keep walking for what lies ahead.
though u may fall countless times
keep walking.

life is not here for us to waste
life is not here for us to dwell upon
life is for us to live

When we were born did we give up
cause we weren't able to support ourselves?
Were we shy to ask for help to eat?
Were we afraid to take our first steps?
Were we even able to clean our own shit?
So why go awol on life
when from the beginning we were already dependent on everyone?
life is not meant to be alone.
life is not meant to be afraid.
life is not meant to be boring.
Life is meant to be what it's meant to be
Full of discoveries
Discoveries beyond our imaginations.
imagination that not only inspire
but imagination that LIVES
imagination that brings us to a whole new dimension
where the trees are mighty soilders guarding our every step
where their leaves dances in the wind to entertain our every second

a dimension where the skies create a vibrant display that's never the same
even though you've seen it just a second ago, letting us see what we wanna see
be it a rabbit, a dog, a F1 car, our loved ones. you just have to look at it long enough and ask.
and it'll paint up that exact image for you.

This can be life is you see life beyond your mind.
See Far.It's amazing what u can see

2007-09-01T11:53:00.000-07:00

Hidden. Again.
the past still grips my life
as the needles tick
i grow weak.
how will i ever come to be
i feel empty.
haven't i already rid the past
from my hands?
haven't i straightened the path for me to thread?
i must have taken a detour.
to a land i am most unfamiliar with
or am i all so familiar with everything
that it over floods my mind?
is this my home?
is this where i once grew up?
am i really alive?
or am i just too dead to realize?
how deep i have thrown myself down
that darkness is now all i see.
my life.
my everything.
i know i'm home.
but where has everyone or everything gone?
i feel everything.
but i don't believe now as i just can't see.
i can't see what's real and what's fake.
is this really what i think it is?
are what i feel really what it feels to be?
or are they just part of my parallel being
making the false seem all so real.
i'll never know.
darkness is killing me.

2007-08-18T11:58:00.000-07:00

and here i am. wasting my time blogging shit.
it's been boring. damn boring.
school started. met some cool ppl and ya.
they're good ppl. but orientation planners?
they suck. wasted my time.
could have done some other thing.
well. guess thing are meant to be as it is.
boring. there's so little to do now a days.
it sucks la. everything feels so dead.
maybe it's me maybe it's not.
but who cares. it's like that.
i no longer feel a thing.
i no longer believe.
where do i lie?
what is the reason to push for?
i seek nothing.
everything seems irritating.
it pisses me off.
what i found gd to do is all now just a chore.
it's a useless
i'm dead.
dead as can be.
emotionless i stare upon the barriers upon which stand before me.
alone.
i feel good alone.
no one to annoy me.
no one to paster me.
no one to irritate me.
why are communities so impt?
is it all so accommodating?
what are we even doing this for?
i see no practical reasons.
all i so skeptical now.
it's all a waste of time.
live as it is.
it'll be worthwhile after awhile.
while stoning takes it course.

vision`

2007-05-17T09:12:00.000-07:00

I am more than what i already am as my mind has no borders and creativity has no limits. I am what i say and what i say is what i become. My life is what i make of it as of now as the past is not equals to the future and the future is in my hands. Act antaeus, take control as it's you who make your future as it's not paper which defines a person but it's character for a person with certifications may have the title but people with characters are the ones who mould theirs lives to their goals as certification is only another step for us to take towards our ultimate goal. They only can bring us so far but how much do we price ourselves we are the ones who set the price upon ourselves we are the one who have the ultimate control over whatever happens. For it is how we respond to situations that makes all the difference. Not how how big or lustful our body may be but how we act at the given point and time that set the path that we thread upon next. We are more powerful than what most of us think. Stand up and arise take your stand and take what you have set out for. For what you deserve will not be given to you just by saying it is yours. Instead you have to take and claim what is rightfully yours. Before it falls beyond reach. For some chances only come once in a lifetime

YeahWay

2007-04-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

i feel better.
you know i wanted to delete all my negative post.
actually i did delete some
so i could erase my past
for i know now the past is not equals the future
and if that is so facing the past shouldn't be a problem
i am climbing my ladder again
yes, there are many mountains to climb and u never know what
the next mountain may be
but i know i have to go forward.
negativity and a raw attitude
is just nothing but useless baggage
why care about the past when it has already happened?
we need to make the change to the better
the future. the thing we can live
the dreams we can bring alive
the choices we take is the paths we pave
so why live in the light with a blindfold when
the light is already shone unto you?
we should embrace ourselves
embrace our failures
Stand Up
Move On
we cannot sit for long.
time does not wait
neither does your life.
every second can be a new beginning.
i am off to my journey
so you begin yours too
i have let my life become stale for months
i thank you everyone for being you.
i am sorry Stones for what i did.

I LOVE YOU ALL.
NOTHING CHANGES THAT.

2007-02-17T09:54:00.000-08:00

Pleased By ACtion
Taught By Love
Expressed Through Kindness
Strengthened By Life
Enforced By Friends
Loved By Family
Struck By Darkness
Guided By Light
Yet The Symphony Of Life Is Yet To Be Heard

What is Life?
It isn't about Certs made of Paper becoming Ashes
It Is what Lies in The hEart and not on earth
Love is something that Shines From within which doesn't tarnish
Life is a Mission waiting to be Discovered
Upon its completion we become the knots connecting the beginning and the end of the string of life.

It's time

2007-02-02T19:06:00.000-08:00

It's Time.
to leave it all and build from scratch.
it may be long. and may be draining.
but i will not give up.
please do not give up too.
it will happen where things are ever so wonderful again.
i believe he will guide us to something
better than what we had.
i had enough weeping already and it's time to
take control. tears bring us no where
if we are not going to do anything.
so let's step up. and take thing into
our hands. The other has tried to destroy
everything we had. and we got caught in his devious plans
now lets pull ourselves out. alright?
be it coincidence or be it retribution.
we are not meant to be like this.
things are not meant to be like thing. we are his children.
and he paid the price in full.
so why are we still weeping?
lets walk hand in hand in this. ya?
i am going to be frank.
i miss those times.
and i want it back.
and i will have it back.
i do not know how.
or i do not know when.
but i will get back.
get it back with me.
for it takes two hands to clap.
i need your effort as well.
for with HIM nothing is impossible.
for us it may seem so. but i know he's here now.
in our midst. so all we need is to believe.
I hope it will be soon.
my clock has stopped.
but somehow the needles kept moving.
you pray and i pray.
I BELIEVE IT WILL BE ALRIGHT!
For i believe this friendship is blessed beyond words.
he has his reason for it. and it is not meant to end here.
CHEERS! We Will Survive. =D

Realisation

2007-01-28T23:23:00.000-08:00

Ha ha. I'm Back again. Shit ass Blogging so much.
i have realized that i have never been
stuck to a single group for long.
i have no permanent place to chill
or no permanent people to chill with
i am a wanderer who goes to only where
he has been called doing nothing much but
observe most of the time.
always standing between two groups of people
looking at the overview of everything
it is stupid at times but i guess it is what i do best
listening... i dunno. am i that sociable after all?
i don't really know.
peeps say i am noisy
but am i truly noise?
they say i am committed
but am i truly committed?
ha ha.
why do i question myself so much.
mad kid... ha ha.
well. life's so weird.
there's everything at the same time
sadness, joy, love, frustration
What else has it installed behind the curtains eh.

Let's wait and see.

Behind Closed Doors

Wooooooooot.. Town encounters

2007-01-23T04:58:00.000-08:00

Woooooooot...
Firstly Let me Give All of you a Quick safety Lesson
ESCALATORS ARE FREAKING DANGEROUS!!! BEWARE!!!
There you go. The Shit ass thing RIPPED my dear shoe
today. Like com'on. i was just an innocent soul fulfilling
the things purpose. sigh. Beware! or else....

This Will Be The FATE Of Your SHOES....

Well Weird stuff... After this Freaky Encounter
We Further Explored unknown Territories and
Found ourselves in Flash and Splash trying to find me a pair of
Flip Flops. WHEN SUDDENLY, a Pair Just Lunged itself from the Shelf
I then exclaimed "SHIT!" when an unknown voice said "WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE!"
I turned and my eyes came upon a Eurasian mid-aged lady looking straight at me.
We Exchanged eye contact When all of a sudden a HYSTERICAL Laughter
Erupted from my fellow mate LARISSA D'CRUZ. After which i too
burst out laugh when suddenly the now familiar voice once again spoke
"I'm SERIOUS! Especially in a Departmental store." After which I proceeded to Purchase
My flip flop.Crazy shit....

Wow. haha. What only Antaeus. Today was a Freakily Funny day i must say.
Freaky Fun = Freakytivity.
Let's ROCK! haha.

Packed as shit meaning that i'll see u guys less.
Hope i can find the time soon yeah. Loves.

a Lifeless Moment

2007-01-18T22:29:00.000-08:00

Where is it to be?
I no longer have a motive or cause.
I'm so sorry for putting all of you at such expense
I just have no where else to go
Please know i still love you
And i hope we still may go far
Please know i need to go
as to find a brighter life
my life is dull now.
covered in darkness and pain
i struggle through the torns but
find more in vain.
i'm sorry.
but to carry on i need to go.

Anyway...

weeks been boring sorting out all the
crappy stuff in sch. just so so ERgh!
thanks for being here.=)
u know who you are.(whole week sia!except sun.lol)
i do not know where to go for my paths are now limited
and i do not have much to show
so it's either lasalle/poly(damn hard)/NS(i dread)
so yeah. Let's pray in unison that Antaeus
may find his future.
yup yup.

I wish our friendship is not on the line
if you're reading this pls know i love you
i really wish we still may go far
though our diff paths in life
so pls pls remain here in my life
for i cannot bare to lose a friend
but the choice is on you.
if you know me or not.
just know that if u're gone.
i'll miss you.

a STEP OUT

2007-01-15T11:47:00.000-08:00

I know it's late and i told u i'd slp early
but i cannot seem to do it. Sorry.
But at least i came home early yeah.=)

Sigh in a real bad dilemma now.
Shit man. I no longer know what to do.
I need to get some load off man.
Missed Mass for 2 weeks.
I dunno. I'm losing it.
my sight. my senses. i'm losing it.
I need to recover. i need to throw things away
and sadly i need to leave some things.

How how can i do that. i don't wanna cause an
uproar of emotions. I sick of it.
If only i could just live in peace forever.
Love peace joy. All i ever want.
But since when in this world may u find that.

I NEED TO SORT EVERY BLOODY THING OUT!
ARGH! Antaeus u're so LOST!!!! so much for containing
my emotions. Sigh. I try my best to put on a happy
face for u all for i know u all have ur own problems
but the mask is getting too heavy to be worn
any longer. I need my relieve. my strength.
shit man. ALL OF YOU just don't know what i am going through
everyone seems to think i am so free and easy
so relaxed
so chilled
BALLS LA. I'm no where near that.
my Freaking schedule is so freaking packed and it's not even
the freaking busy part of the year.I've given up
i need to leave smthing.
BUT what is it?! i cannot Decide. i just don't know.
and if i every leave any of u. Please don't Weep
Just know that i still love u guys.
Thought we no longer walk the same paths.
For everything else. they can wait.

Christie. Thnx for everything. you've been great company lately. thanks.ROCK on.
Larris. i miss chilling man. y nvr watch the show today. it was great man. right jane?
Stones. Sorry i didn't make it.i just hope u all can forgive me.

Love ya.

Life at half past 4

2007-01-11T12:31:00.000-08:00

Well it 0430 in the morning and i'm still barely sleepy
WHY!?! thats just not possible. WHY! shit la.
gotta wake up by 10 tml cause the darn Air-con dude's
gonna come to install the darn thing. like boring!
LIKE i'm gonna be stuck home LIKE from my waking up till
like 5-6PM!!!! ARGH! so YA! ergh.

Well Life's a mess now. So many things happening.
Life, School, Church are just some of the main things
with like loads and loads of micro tiny tiny stuff which
is just too long to write for it's just too sophisticated
so yeah.Sigh. what to do.. BORING!
Dunno where to go man.
like yeah. Poly and all. Tough shit man. 'O' level dudes and babes
Study hard man. Don't waste ur time with additional years. It's Boring
and It Drains You Dry to the Core. Like HELLO!!! Time to wake up maybe
I know i wasted mine yet although i don't regret cause i had kinda a ball of a time
if ITE excluded studying but just had my dear old and new classmates and
FLOORBALL(my life) It'd be Perfect. What a Waste eh. Floorball was the highlight of it
all. But of course MY dear Churchly Family needless to mention names has Been
Real real Great always pushing me on and all. but yeah. Thanks man.
You know i Love ALL of u and I MEAN ALL alright in cause some might misunderstand
u know All know to that u have Rocked MY life. I know i haven't really had time for
most of u and i'm sorry yeah. yeah.

Well look at the good side in life i have finacial support to finally continue my bike pracs
that's great eh. Yeah i know it's all dangerous and all but cut the crap guys. i've heard
enough and my mind's set. yeah it's dangerous yeah i might die but com'on yeah.
Reality CHECK pls. Everythings dangerous. like yeah. If like i die or something
don't weep for me yeah. just like be glad i've finnaly rid of my struggles in life and can chill for eternity. yeah? like you know. So at my funeral PLS PLS DO NOT WEAR BLACK OR WHITE OR ANY DULL BORING CLOTHES that u find at salvation army or some cheap ass stall yeah
Please the last thing i wanna see if some dulled assed guy walking down the aisle with my coffin like WAke up yeah. For my soul to see u in that is prob a one way ticket to HELL for me cause i'd be so bloody put down and be called in for i'd be convicted for murder after dead but look at the bright side you can go to heaven faster yeah. So yeah. Please ya or I'd really hate u for life after death.

Shit i've been writing for bloody 30mins. Hell this is probably the longest Post u'd get from me so u better save a copy for remembrance sake. Shit man likee the week been so bloody tiring.
Let's see.
Monday.-----------------Chilled then went Sk8ing
Tues---------------Erm... SLPT whole day no actually till 3
Wed--------------------Didn't Slp night b4 had class then training. grrr.
Thurs--------------hmmmm Slpt than Band Prac
Fri----------------Now haven't slp thing yet to come. God save me!

Shit i haven't done much at all. that's just bloody bad. Slack Shit.
Well what else can i do man. like hello.. Everything's sooo BORING
Hmm.. Saturday's Packed for me from 1pm onwards.
So is Sunday. Probably the WHOLE day.
well mondays is back to sch. WHERE'S the hols!
ARGH!
So bloody latargic now.

Argh... BYE. have Fun..................................................................

P.S.:Life's a bottle with everything shaken up inside
When u open up it all explodes out like no body's business.

I'm getting sick of things. Don't Diss me.

What to do

2007-01-08T11:30:00.000-08:00

Choices choices and more choices.
When's it gonna end?
I'm Tired of Choices.
I dunno what to do anymore.
It's Dreadful.
BORING!

HAHA. Went Chilling today.
Didn't go Sch. Over slpt.
TSK Antaeus Antaeus
Terrible man.
But i still had a ball of a time with LARRIS
today at Causeway Wooot. Gr8 Stuff man.
Went Sk8ing With Des.B Today.

Des We should go again sometime man. and do crazier Shit. Woooooot.
TO ALL the PSYCHOTICS OUT THERE. Rock On. I'm With YA!
Thank YOu.

Chpt 1230134102313123

2007-01-07T01:55:00.000-08:00

Salutations to ALL!
here i am again. To tell you a great story. woooooot.
Well I'm back Loaded with Stuff but don't know where to start.

Like ya.
Schools on Monday! Shit man. So so BORING!
Like it's sch. how i wish sch could never come back.
Like it's all weird shitty stuff that u can self learn and still get it.
So why go to sch. like hello!
well. Christmas was Alright i must say.
but it seems the christmas spirit is fading away.
It really is. like it's lost it's meaning in the world.
Sigh.

New Year was Great yeah. Like was in church
and went to houses and then after a countdown party
in church. Rocking stuff man. Like yeah.Cleaning up was revolutionary.
ha ha.

Floorball STARTED!!! YAY!!! But training so tense suddenly due to
upcoming tournament. but it's all good thought my body is all Aching. Hurray to that. haha. Shit man like the saddest thing happened During training know.
Like my floorball Stick Broke! Like ARGH! It's so Saddening!
It has brought me so so far. Sigh. Well guess it's time to move on then yeah
Both in Floorball and Life. Moving on moving on. Haha. Revolutionary Stuff.
YUP!

Well This closes chpt 10230139213123 of my life. come back soon yeah. Wooooooooot.

Wooot 1mth +

2006-12-11T08:44:00.000-08:00

it's been over a mth since i last wrote and now i am here
to express my deepest apology for all those who
were so eager to get the inside scoop of my life.
sOoooo... here we go...

i just got back frm Youth camp Penang '06'
it rocked! like seriously.
I got to know So may ppl.
and forged stronger bond with those whom i already know
Stones. i've grown to love u all more.
Thank u for all u've done for me.
All the Parti's thank you for being so open
I miss u all. Each and everyone of u have gained a special place in my heart
and all that u've done for me won't be forgotten.

Michelle! BirthDAy TIME!

Home Sweet Home

Penang Road. Makan Only... Shiok shiok..

Hafahafa...WOooot!

After Gurney Drive

Penang rd...RARGH!

YAY!Shiok shiok..

Like what only. on the escalator also can take.=S

concentration concentration at the cendol stall.Wooot

My Beloved

Yay. Miss Camp man.

Confirmation mass was yst.
So happy for all of the confirmants.
Stay with us k. Please Please dont go...
haha.

Had youth Seminar today. i think it was Good.
but alot felt sleepy WHY!!!!
wake up man...
It's our future here.
haha
Wooot.
Exciting exciting. Let work together to Aquire Greater heights
i know we can do it.

Shabin. I'm glad to have gotten to know u better.
So happy to have started taking the steps to a better
relationship.Thank you. Let's strive together.

Justina.Sry for being so hard to talk too. i'm glad that we've finally
Started talking rather well. Woot. So exciting. Yeah man.

Desmond(Cousin) thanks for everything man. I feel Drawn to knowing u better man.
Let push Further k. Rock on man. ILU.

Stones. Thanks for helping me grow further in life and learn
the value of friendship and how priceless it is.I've kinda forgotten how it
impt it was. Thank you. I Love each and Everyone of u and if i have hurt any
of you, please note i didn't mean too.

Yth caMP. i am so blessed by all the new friendship which have flourish during the camp.
and even more blessed by the friendship that have strenghten. Rock on to Life man.
Let's Run hand in hand.

Cheers!

Erasure Shiokanarden

2006-10-30T07:17:00.000-08:00

Erasure of past Memories. It's the thing everyone should do. Forgot the bad.
I LOVE ALL of YOU

The weeks been GOOD.. Sat was the Thing can.
Like wen to Major seminary in the morn.
to set up the equip for day of vocation.
Rocking Stuff man. like so cool can Major Sem is like
coolness...
had Afternoon Prayer with the Seminarians. like They sing their
prayers know. like how often do u see ppl singing an afternoon prayer
from the prayer book. Like the whole half and hour session was sung can.
Awesome man.
Met Bro Arin there. Found out his fav tree was the "durian chiku tree"
coolness right.
well after that had to rush to St. Ants to shift things to REVIVE
well on my way there Eljah and I hitched hiked a Truck can.
from major sem since it was DEEP DEEP inside.
It was the Road Cleaning Trucks like u know those huge trucks with those
Brushes by the side to clean the gutters? yeah that.
haha
it was Shoik MAN! like how often do u get to sit in one of those....
BUT BUT.. the uncle took us the wrong way can.
like he brought us to the jetty where ppl depart on ferry to OBS one u know? like even FURTHER.. but who cares. still ahd a bus stop there so it was gd.

Well At REVIVE was so yeah la. Like The Skit went well Everyone Had a Great
Laugh. Right? haha.. well it was a fun filled experience working with u all.
Blessed ppl Everyone. Blessed.

Then had to rush to Miss Clarity Cafe.
Rocking place man. like it had coolstuff..
Lydia had a minature her and was asking everyone to pose with it.
Like Superstarvity. Like Ya...
haha then We talk and fellowshipped and talked and talked
But i must say. If u're lost or looking for directions. Try not to ask Lydia
HAHA... she made the place seemed very visible kinda u know. like
"directly opp the National Library" like so direct but the place was in some
Ulu ulu Street can.. Like can walk and get raped kind..
well not that bad la but u get the idea..
haha.But yeah..
So we ate and ate. then the best part came..
THE BIRTHDAY CAKE...mmmmmmmmmmmmm..
Sure Rich and Smooth. It was Heaven...
Like ate so much can.. yummy! hahaa i WANT MORE>
but i like got real sick of chocolate the next day.. ate too much..
haha. but u can't waste food right? haha.
Yippie. Sunday had Stones meeting.

Oh My goodness.
SUNDAYS LUNCH WAS A HEADACHE!!!
ARgh!!! haha.. JUSTINA!! aha.. waiting for u rounding ah
like Station of the Cross can.
like got 1233189746138-129734185416809720973 stations la.
haha.. but yeah it's good to socialize.
like i barely can talk as much. or maybe i can. DUNNO! lol.
but yeah.. Deciding for where to eat was also a headache.
but it's over thank goodness.

Monday...haha.. Woke up felt lazy to go sch..
like i slept from Sunday 6pm to 12am
then slept again from 6am to 12pm monday morning..
Like wat right.. haha. But yeah.
Went to Ali's house to get her com done up.
FINALLY it's OVER... Ahhhh.. Relieve relieve.
YAY! then rushed home and all and met LARI JILL AND SHABS for Bad..Mint..On
Like played and played and played and then came a small boy then played with him.
Not bad sia! like Good can.. haha..
Well now i'm Home and tired..
GOOD BYE!
haha oh yeah

Read this. I think it'll help relationships flourish.. =)

James 1:19-21 (ESV)
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; [20] for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness that God requires. [21] Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

T - Is it true?
H - Is it helpful?
I - Is it inspiring?
N - Is it necessary?
K - Is it kind?

THINK

Remember this simple formula before speaking to or about any person.
If what you are about to say does not pass those tests.
then it's better kept to yourself.

Agape...

2006-10-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

Finally. i Got my Bass Finally.
It my new beloved..yup it is.
Sch has started and i'm dying already
the late nights the early mornings.. Dreadful...
but it's great. got caught today.
cause i wore outside cloths to sch. how dumb.
like what's the diff?
but yeah. got caught how dumb.I didn't get caught
for being hell late but for dumb uniform
like HELLO!
Watch out man.
haha. but my excuse was good k.

told teacher that it all got ruined due to bleach and it's like shit now.

he believed!!! Rock on Antaeus. Wahaha. So bored can. it's Deadly...
My fingers tips are partially sore now cause i was playing bass for like ages
but it was cool. yup yup. anyway...

TOMORROW IS CJC RETREAT! so EXCITED. OMGoodness. Wonder who
will be my Group member. Excited excited. Wheeeeeeeee! My Groups gonna Rock can.
haha. Yup yup. Rawking........................................

Well gonna crash now. ADIOS!AGAPE PPL AGAPE!

Why?

2006-10-09T11:06:00.001-07:00

haha. today was a super slack day la.went to church for rehearsal. than went to ala-meen.
had a good time guys. thanks for the talk.=)

i learnt that WHY is such a wonderful word.
don't u think so. have u ever thought abt that?
Why was it this way?
Why this why that?
it's just such a wonderful word that all of us should get used to.
can u imagine is we never had the word why?
can u imagine what kinda fools we would be. we wouldn't know shit man.
if why was never here how would we learn. and how would the answer have ever come about
Why. It's just so cool.

And i think we should learn to express ourselves more.
to release our inner thought and feelings.
don't you think if we don't release those negative feeling and emotions
it'll just make us a useless wreck?
common sense please.
the more we ask or question or speak the more we learn.
and the more we learn the more we grow.
without expression there wouldn't be growth.
and without growth what is the use of living?
everyone is here for growth.

can u imagine if we just sit and then take all the nonsense in?
can u imagine if we know what to do but didn't execute it?
can u imagine if jesus didn't die for us?

WHERE WOULD WE BE?WHAT WOULD WE BE DOING?

I believe we are here in each others lives for a reason.
To Grow Together.
To Love Together.
To Support Each Other.
And To Teach Each Other.

Hurt/Termoils comes always.
but the thing is that Hurt is a brilliant way to Grow.
can u imagine if we never fell before?
We wouldn't even know how to pick ourselves up.
problems and sufferings i think is one of gods greatest lessons to us
it's here for a reason.
if hurt adn problem was never in our lives would we have ever know what is right or wrong to do?or endure the darkest moments in our lives?
being hurt is one thing we have to learn to FACE
and not run away.
running away is just useless.
we may speak of it.
write abt it.
But what are we DOING abt it?
If we learn to face our termoils in life how wonderful it would be.
Life won't straighten up by itself.
Life is here for us to learn.
So the only way for us to go is UP
when we go down. We still have to go UP
so if we aim up(in the right sense of mind of course)
then Life would be so wondrous.
It'll be so brilliant.
So Purposeful.
It's be just AMAZING.
YUP!

I Miss I Love He Loves

2006-10-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

I Miss Carefree Days
I Miss Life
I Miss Satisfaction
I Miss Everyone
I Miss You
I Miss Old Friends
I Miss Classic Chill Outs
I Miss The days where nonsense was fun
I Miss My Late Family
I Miss Love
I Miss Alot...

But

I Thank God For You
I Thank God For Stones
I Thank God For My Family
I Thank God For Amplify
I Thank God For Friends
I Thank God For Love
I Thank God For Past Memories
I Thank God For His Son
I Thank God For Walking With Mt
I Thank God For All And Everything That I Could Think Of
I Love You.

Each and everyone of You are Precious in His Eyes
So Precious that He Gave his Only Son
So Precious That He Gave Us Each Other
So Precious That He Gave Us Life
So Precious That He Gave Us Free Will
So Precious That He Created The Birds The Sea The Sky
The Trees Everything on Earth And Beyond So That we May
Never Get Bored. So that WE can Marvel At how Wonderful He Is
So That We Can Hold Wonderful Conversations Of how The Sky Looks Beautiful Today
Of how Many Galaxes Are there. How many Stars There Are.
The Marvels Of The OCEAN Or The Deapth Of the Earth.
The Complexity Of the Human Body Or The Simplicity Of The Soul.
The Story Of Our Life. Or the Purpose Behind It.
You're Speacial. Each and Everyone of Us.
And He Gave us Each other Not To Hate But to Love
To All Those that I Hurt.I'm Sorry. I Want To Love You
I'm And To All Thost I Love. I Want To Love You More
How Magnificant You Are.
Thank You For Being In My Life.
<3

Feels good

2006-09-26T07:07:00.000-07:00

WOW! today's like a damn productive day la.. although i spent the whole day doing 1 darn thing.. My Guitar. And it's still not done la! haha.. but it's good. so fun can.. repainting it then putting add-ons Whee!! had to strip the guitar from it's paint then remove this and that shiok... well enough of that. I miss everyone. and i Miss my Colleagues.. Darn..I Miss everyone Else too. Everyone's having EXAMS!BORING!Lol. Boo..

JILL-Wooooooooooooooooooooooo....

haha...

Btw Thanks to all those who left their thought abt the LOGO THANKS! Loves.

2006-09-10T08:58:00.000-07:00

GUYS!!! I NEED YOUR OPINION!this is the pending youth logo and i need Feedback on the logos pls.. sorry bout the resolution but web images can't carry such high resolution sry. but pls pls give feedback.Thanks for ur feedbacks. thnx<3

Loves

2006-08-16T08:32:00.000-07:00

I feel LOVE is fading in this world. Sigh. PPL are getting together for no reason. PPL are using each other for reasons uncalled for.. WHAT IS HAPPENING. i CRY for you guys. I LOVE you Guys. But i'm glad that through this sorrows u've have grown. Good on ya.

Hmm.. Decisions.. how hard is it man. they always seem to be so easy.. BUT what abt the DECISION of a lifestyle that's so diffrent from what you're living now. a decision that makes u look at the world with LOVE for it. a decision to serve. how do u know what the right way is. just how.. It's confusing. It's just too much... I miss the carefree days. when u didn't have to think much. How hard it is to Live now a days. So much Blockages So much Struggles. How happy are the people in Africa whatever their conditions may be like. how Wonderful it is. The Joy of the People. So heart Warming. So inspirational. How i wish i could have such a simple yet happy mind. living with just the basic needs of life. Now a days the world is enraged in a Struggle for power. A struggle for Fame and fortune. What happened to the love the kampong days of life where everyone was so closely nitted together.

How i want to get to know all of u like a brother/sister. how i wish i can spend my whole day just spending my time with all of you. to share our life stories to enjoy the company which each one of us can willingly give. What is the use of papers when u do not enjoy the life which HE has given. what is the use of KNOWLEDGE if all you do is put down one another. i'm CRYING within and i can't help it. I LOVE YOU GUYS<3 EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.

wahahah

2006-07-31T07:09:00.000-07:00

WOW.. Haven't really found the time to blog lately la. so much things.. so lil time..haha..the week's been so cool la. haha..like had match and training and work and church..haha. jokers stuff. but floorball match was damn funny well kinda la funny and sad.. yeah..

....it all started during the 1st quater of match the opponant scored once.. the as we started playing again their defender flicks a high ball into the danger zone BUT the player headers the ball cause a direct foul but the EMPIRE decides to carry on play and THE EXACT SAME PERSON who headed the ball whacks the ball into our goal giving them a SECOND goal....

Our COACH RUSHED to the Empire Protesting against that goal.. The empire admitted it was a foul but was TOO SHY TO ADMIT HIS WRONGS so he gave the goal....My Coach kept protesting as it wasn't right. it wasn't fair and the EMPIRE STILL had the GUTS to pull out a RED CARD against my COACH dispite of his WRONGs....The Empire then stated the my coach was only a local empire but THE EMPIRE HIMSELF was an INTERNATIONAL one. How IDIOTIC.. So my coach had no choice but to leave the sports hall.. BUT!!! he didn't leave quitely he gave the empire a reason to be afraid as he said... WATCH OUT AFTER THE MATCH! and he left.

After the match resumed my team was FUMING and the game GOT ROUGHER AND ROUGHER.. but sadly.. we only got to score 1 goal..We lost. We lsot our Cool and We lost. but with an impact.. the other team left not with broken heart but broken bodies...Sadly..They were still happy.. and so were so..So the morale is when you're losing let the other team win just whack them..so both will be satisfied..haha..YEAH...

So work was slack last week.. TODAY WAS TERRIBLE SO TIRING!!!! had to collect 5.. 5!!!! LAPTOPS LA!!! like had to carry four in the train and all with me while i went to get the fifth one la. like can u imagine walking around with 4 laptops on your shoulders.. Ouch right... Yeah.. so heavy la.. but Finnaly they got me to do smthing so i shan't complain. thnx for the Experience... lol..

Really really pray ig et selected for ITe combined west team man.. would be so cool la.. LIKE the 3rd round of selections is TML LA!!!! LIKE TUEDAY!! TML!!! like SO CLOSE!!! yeah...can leave work early..haa..yay! pray for me ok? lol..

ShaggEd to the Limit

2006-07-26T06:38:00.000-07:00

Sooo Soo Tired... Been SO caught Up lately eveything else is on hold. It's just Terrible! ARGH! but my attachment is sooo slack yet it is also like a prison for my holding my from what i really wanna do..I feel like just Passing out man. so TIRED! like i dun have time anymore. Time is what i really need now.. just TIME. be it silent or be it noisy. i just want some time for me to lay back. I miss My Slackness I Miss My Family I Miss All of You Yet It is only the beginning with still more To COME. Time..... For now It's All i Ever Wanted.... TIME....

...

2006-07-23T07:23:00.000-07:00

I don't believe in living life as it is.It has to be changed. Really. It's Just not right. Life has been Sucha Mess and it's jsut abt time to get it all right again. I can;t live like that being all stressed up about things it's just soo not, you know going the way it's meant to. I'm getting so paranoid. I probably am. I have been hiding behind this mask for so long. Laughing and being happy all. It's just not me. It jsut isn't. It's not i was meant to be. happiness is one thing but acting happy. just not good. I've been running away and i think i have ran for too long now. I should be taking a step now. but i just cannot. i can't! It's just not.. not right..........

woooo...

2006-07-22T09:49:00.000-07:00

Today was Sooo TIRING! But great man.. Like woke up so early...i'm gonna die when sch starts if i call waking up at like 9+ early... i gotta wake up at 6:30 when sch starts So it's Madness.. I'm Gonna get insomia due to fear of waking up late man..So Serious here...

Well It was Great Stuff Guys.. Sheila, Jus and Lari. The stuff we did today...PERFECTO... Well very close too at least.. haha but it was good.. The Food is Wonderfulllllll...It's gonna rock. so it will.. i just know it will. So EXCITED LA!

Like Finally i got to play with the server soccer after like a lifetime since i played with them. Kinda missed them ya know.. like in a way. The fellowship... yeah.. will come more often Guys.. will try at least. yeah. =). haha. Yup...Wheeee!!!!

Laris. Sorry for leaving you once again today at the bus stop... My bad man. I'm so sorry... really didn't mean to do it.. i know that i've done it a couple of times and i don't wish to do it. Sorry Dude.. Shalom...Cheers man!

What.. UP....

2006-07-20T06:17:00.000-07:00

so Stuffed..Just Ate 2 WHOLE kebab man..errrrrrrrrrrrrr. So packed..the WEEK is nearly done and SCH's gonna start.So FAST! Their sending us for Industrial Attachment..It's real Dumb la.Like can't they allocate us to a place near our home.They're damn dumb la. I'm in YISHUN and they send me to dover to work.Tiring can. They have such cruel souls.could have at least let us choose where to work right. If only we could.Sigh. it's a 5 1/2 day week man.not my poor saturday is also gone. It's a terrible lifestyle.What to do..... haha..

Well...The Rest of the week was fine though Real Slack. Kinda.. Like i've been Chilling so much man.. LARIS!!!!! When???? haha...You knoe what i'm talking abt.. Guess what There's AMPLIFY TML!! and I got no TRAINING! like Damn happy la..My first amp meeting after YISS can't wait to see everyone man.. So Laris this is the one in awhile chance i get to go..lol.. So cool eh.. Yay!

Yst went to Gerri's house...It's sooo nice k..Like so cool...I like. UNO rocks la...haha..Gerri.. we shall conquer one day ok?! haha... House team. haha. We'll overpower all. Joker.. Had Choki choki also.. Kevin's childhood memories came into play...haha RIGHT? lol.. it's like a classic thing la. passed on from generation to generation.. YOU SHOULD TRY MAN.. CHOKI CHOKI chocklate paste.. haha. so nice can.

what to do. i miss everyone. Sigh. We should have a HUGE chill out session man. Like with EVERYONE!!! haha. serious.. erm but idunno who the everyone is la.but you know.. like Everyone! haha. should go blading man. i wanna go BLADING! not alone though.like with others.. soon right SHEILA! haha soon.. Can't wait man.. Hurry k.. i got a new catch line man. like so cool k it's like M.I.C (mission in christ) haha. it's like my new motivational line. it really keeps me going. you know sometimes life throws at you different path of totally opposite directions. it's a shocking man. the worst thing is u wanna go both way but u dunno which way to go. it's just terrible man. It just throws you into this Dark room where u really really dunno where u are and jsut remain stuck. there are No Windows No Doors and u just keep standing there cause u just don't dare to take the step as you know it has the power to cause such a different in life. It's Scary man. haha. Guess it's just another phase in life... My M.I.C. just needa find it man. So lost now.. but it's quite amazing the path he's showing me Scary yet interesting u know..lol.. Well. What to do.

I'm so happy that i'm begining to see friendships deepen. for me at least. and i thank every one of u for being open. I love you all. And i really cherish these friendships. I hope We all Go Far Together. Cheers To All Friendship That All Will Flourish! YEAH! And too All those Busy PPL out there. Take care yea. Strive on and All the best..! Ciao! haha..

Bordism

2006-07-17T05:35:00.000-07:00

Another Bored Day at home.. I really Beginning to hate hols man. They totally suck man. Like my Hols are way Apart from the rest of the other Schools Hols. So there's no one to slack with as everyones studying. Boring!

I wanna stay in Woodlands!!!!!!!!!!! haha..If only i could. It's a rocking place man. well not really rocking but you know. Like the Hometown feeling it gives. Well One Day i Shall One Day...YUP i will.

Indescribable...

What To Do.....

2006-07-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

WOW...TOday Was Just slack man... Like Had Stones Meeting and all...HAHA...Guess what man...I WAS LOUD DURING IT..Like amazing k..The first meeting i went for i was sooo bLOODY QUIET LA...Like Serious k..Stupid me..JOKER..We..nooo..I chilled with SHEILA, SHABIN and JILL for lunch slackers....I got the LAST plate of Hokkien MEE la!! Feel Damn Hourned Ok..Like Really Ok..Serious!Serious!!!So Cool..

I PLayed soccer...Found Out i Can't Run For NUTS in The PITCH no more la...Slacked too MUCH...haha! LOSER MAN...

Yst....Had FLOORBALL MATCH..damn Shiok La i Finally Went for a MAtch...Like FiNALLY!!! After missing like erm...2 Matches i Finally Went La..Accomplishment man...We Won 8-4 la..So cool..PROUD OF ya GUYS MAN..We ROCK...Well Done to My Line as well...We maintained a clean Sheet Man..Rock ON!...haha

So Bored now though...That's y u see me writing this.. I hate Bordism... It Sucks Gets me Either Mad or Thinkning so Much..sigh.. Have u ever Been in This Dumb Situation where U know u should do smthin yet u wanna do it the Total Oppisite way?..It Sucks eh..Bloody Hell..Ergh..

Sigh..I MISS SJV!!! I MISS EVERYONE! Love YA ALL MAN! Catch up soon k...